How to Make your Wife Happy

Found this at themodernreligion.com. To all husband out there, please read... and read... and read....do not ignore it! ;))

1. Beautiful Reception. After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:
 

• begin with a good greeting
• start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du'aa for her as well
• Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!
   

 2. Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations
 

• Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones
• Give her your attention when you speak or she speaks
• Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands
• Call her nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc

3. Friendliness and Recreation
 

• Spend time talking together
• Spread to her good news
• Remember your good memories together
   

4. Games and Distractions
 

• Joking around & having a sense of humor
• Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever
• Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment
• Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment

5. Assistance in the Household
 

• Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired
• The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work

6. Consultation (Shurah) Specifically in family matters
 

• Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you
• Studying her opinion carefully
• Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better
• Thanking her for helping you with her opinions

7. Visiting Others
 

• Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people.  (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
• Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits
• Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with
   

 8. Conduct During Travel
 

• Offer a warm farewell and good advice
• Ask her to pray for him
• Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence
• Give her enough money for what she might need
• Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc.
• Return as soon as possible
• Bring her a gift!
• Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night
• Take her with you if possible

9. Financial Support

• The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
• He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).
• He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.
   

10. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

• Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
• Always being clean and neat
• Put on perfume for her

11. Intercourse

• It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)
• Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic du'a.
• Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus)
• Begin with foreplay including words of love
• Continue until you have satisfied her desire
• Relax and joke around afterwards
• Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram
• Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her to do it first while you are looking on
• Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy
• Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.

12. Guarding Privacy

• Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

13. Aiding in the Obedience to Allah
 

• Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray "Qiam-ul-Layl" (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku'ua)
• Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer
• Teach her "Dhikr" (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening
• Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale
• Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so

14. Showing Respect for her Family and Friends

• Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents
• Invite them to visit her and welcome them
• Give them presents on special occasions
• Help them when needed with money, effort, etc.
• Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.

15. (Islamic) Training & Admonition. This includes:

• The basics of Islam
• Her duties and rights
• Reading and writing
• Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
• Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
• Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

16. Admirable Jealousy

• Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house
• Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men
• Avoiding excess jealousy. Examples of this are:

  
  1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean
  2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just
  3- Preventing her from answering the phone.
  4- etc.

17. Patience and Mildness

• Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.
• Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc.
• Forgive the mistakes she does to you  (See item 18)
• How can you best correct her mistakes?
  1- First, implicit and explicit advice several times.
  2- Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.
  3- The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this case, the hsuband should consider the following:
  • He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant.
  • He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc.
  • It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur'an
  • He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body
  • He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc.

18. Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

• Accounting her only for larger mistakes
• Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc.
• Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake
• Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing
• Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn't then he does not eat and does not comment
• Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations
• Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings
• When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others
• Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

By a Child

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.



When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in Allah.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'"

Beauty Tips

For attractive lips

Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes,

Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure,

Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,

Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise,

Walk with the knowledge that you will never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,

reclaimed, and redeemed;

Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

The figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,

Because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,

But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows.

And the beauty of a woman, with passing years, only grows!

How to make your Husband happy ?

The following article is a summary of the book "How to Make Your Husband Happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,

• Begin with a good greeting.

• Meet him with a cheerful face

• Beautify and perfume yourself

• Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested

• Receive him with loving and yearning sentences

• Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried)

3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

• Take good care of your body and fitness.

• Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.

• Bathe regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.

• Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape

• Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoos

• Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes

• Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4. Intercourse

• Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.

• Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.

• Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

• Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.

• Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

5. Satisfaction With What Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) Has Allotted

• You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job

• You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) for all that was given to you.

• You should remember that real wealth lies in faith and piety.

6. Indifference to Worldly Things

• You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.

• You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.

• Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the Hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Al-Jannah).

• Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7. Appreciation

• By the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the majority of people in Hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.

• The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways

• The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: "Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?"

8. Devotion and Loyalty

• In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy

• Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9. Compliance to Him

• In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram)

• In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.

10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:

• If you were mistaken, then apologize

• If he was mistaken then:
     Keep still instead of arguing or
      Yield you right or
      Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.

• If he was angry because of external reasons then:
      Keep silent until his anger goes
      Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him

• Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened e.g.
      1) You should tell me what happened!
      2) I must know what made you so angry!
      3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know!

11. Guardianship While He is Absent

• Protect yourself from any prohibited relations

• Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other people to know.

• Take care of the house and children.

• Take care of his money and properties

• Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijaab

• Refuse people whom he does not like to come over

• Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place

• Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence

12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

• You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.

• You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.

• You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife

• Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.

• Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home

• Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc...

13. Admirable Jealousy

• Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others disrespecting them, etc…

• You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14. Patience and Emotional Support

• Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.

• When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, his and your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.

• When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested etc.

• Be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of Paradise.

• When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.

15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

• Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.

• Encourage him to pray at night.

• Listen and reciting the Qur'aan individually and with your husband.

• Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.

• Remember Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa, much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.

• Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.

• Learn Islamic rules (ahkaam) and good manners ('adab) for women.

• Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.

• Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah

• Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa.

16. Good Housekeeping

• Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged

• Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom

• Perfect food (preparation) and prepare healthy foods

• Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing

• Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

• Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.

• Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.

• Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

 

Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed for the translator brother Abu Talhah, and for the reviewer, brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada February, 1999

Taken from : Al-Haramain.org Newsletter

Facts About Hair Loss

Many Muslim women and many converts to Islam in particular claim to experience hair loss after adopting hijab (Islamic dress). Their normal reaction is to assume that hijab is the reason for this difficult condition and wonder how they may avoid losing their hair and still wear hijab

Fortunately, it is unlikely that hijab is the cause for any woman to lose her hair. In fact, hijab is a great protection for your hair as it never gets exposed to outside elements such as the sun, wind, air, rain, smog and other forms of pollution. In addition, women who wear hijab are much less likely to use excessive amounts of hairspray or to curl their hair regularly, both of which damage the hair and may cause it to break and fall out.

If you began losing your hair after you adopted hijab, it is most likely a coincidence since there are many health conditions which can contribute to hair-loss in women. For example, it is common to lose large amounts of hair after giving birth, especially if you are breastfeeding. This usually begins 4-6 months after the birth of a baby and grows back soon after that. Illnesses such as thyroid diorders and iron-deficiency anemia may also cause hair to thin and fall out while certain types of medications and even stress can do the same. Whether the hair loss is permanant or temporary depends on many factors, and these are best discussed with a qualified physician.

Older women in particular should realize that hair thinning is a natural part of the aging process although the process is gradual and should not result in large clumps of hair falling out all at once.

To reduce stress on the hair and scalp, do not style your hair in tight braids. Allow your hair to air dry after shampooing and do not brush it while it is wet. Avoid hot curlers and harsh chemicals such as dyes, perms and styling products. In addition, do not make it a habit to leave your hair wet under the hijab.

The Islamic Garden

Oh Muslimah

OH MUSLIMAH

Stand proud for who you are

Show your faith

And let it shine through

Don’t let others

Cloud your view

Let them see

What lies just beneath your cloth

Let them be amazed by all your thoughts

OH MUSLIMAH

Let your action speak

Louder then words

Your acts represent more

Then any word unheard

OH MUSLIMAH

You are a symbol of true Islam

You represent muslims from near and far

You are a sign

For the world to read

You symbolize

What our nation really needs

Peace ,Kindness ,Inner Strength, and Faith

OH MUSLIMAH

Stand up straight

For ALLAH wants to

Meet you at heavens gate!

By Cheryl Al-Sasah

22 Dua from The Holy Quran

" And when My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I respond to the dua (prayer) of every suppliant when they calleth on Me " [ Quran 2:186 ] 1. Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the life to come and keep us safe from the torment of the Fire (2:201) 2. Our Lord! Bestow on us endurance and make our foothold sure and give us help against those who reject faith. (2:250) 3. Our Lord! Take us not to task if we forget or fall into error. (2:286) 4. Our Lord! Lay not upon us such a burden as You did lay upon those before us. (2:286) 5. Our Lord! Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear, grant us forgiveness and have mercy on us. You are our Protector. Help us against those who deny the truth. (2:286) 6. Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate from the truth after selves, and unless You grant us forgiveness and bestow Your mercy upon us, we shall most certainly be lost! (7:23) 13. Our Lord! Place us not among the people who have been guilty of evildoing. (7:47) 14. Our Lord! Lay open the truth between us and our people, for You are the best of all to lay open the truth. (7:89) 15. Our Lord! Pour out on us patience and constancy, and make us die as those who have surrendered themselves unto You. (7:126) 16. Our Lord! Make us not a trial for the evildoing folk, and save as by Your mercy from people who deny the truth (10:85-86) 17. Our Lord! You truly know all that we may hide [in our hearts] as well as all that we bring into the open, for nothing whatever, be it on earth or in heaven, remains hidden from Allah (14:38) 18. Our Lord! Bestow on us mercy from Your presence and dispose of our affairs for us in the right way. (18:10) & (59:10) 19. Our Lord! In You we have placed our trust, and to You do we turn in repentance, for unto You is the end of all journeys. (60:4) 20. Our Lord! Perfect our light for us and forgive us our sins, for verily You have power over all things. (66:8) 21. Surah Al-An'am 6.162: Say (O Muhammad SAW): "Verily, my Salât (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists). Our Lord! Perfect our light for us and forgive us our sins, for verily You have power over all things. (66:8) 22. Surah Al-An'am 6.162: Say (O Muhammad SAW): "Verily, my Salât (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists).